


Kissing a Fool

by BirdOfHermes



Series: The Thirst Trials [22]
Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Alternate Universe - Office, Banter, Blow Jobs, Canon Divergence - Post-Thor: Ragnarok (2017), Couch Cuddles, Couch Sex, Cuddling & Snuggling, Cunnilingus, Dancing, Eventual Smut, F/M, Flirting, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Male-Female Friendship, Meet-Cute, Mutual Pining, POV First Person, Rain, Romantic Friendship, Slow Dancing, Songfic, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, no y/n
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-05
Updated: 2020-01-06
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:07:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22133770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BirdOfHermes/pseuds/BirdOfHermes
Summary: You're having the mother of all bad mornings, but you just so happen to bump into the sweetest coworker you've ever met at your office: Thor Odinson, whose jacket he lends you is just as warm as his eyes. Accidental chemistry is a go.
Relationships: Thor/Original Female Character, Thor/Reader, Thor/You
Series: The Thirst Trials [22]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1103739
Comments: 15
Kudos: 245





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Because apparently I just don't have enough Thor AUs going at once. I have a problem. *snorts another line of Thor/Reader crack* Ah, that's the good shit. Enjoy some fluff, people.

It was a Thursday to end all Thursdays.

The city skies opened up and unleashed a monsoon. Therefore, traffic into my office was hell and a half. I usually took the train in, but the line that ran to my job had broken down, so I had to catch an Uber, and the rates were higher than normal due to all the other people who had been displaced as well. I'd mentally griped the entire ride in the swarm of packed cars on the street until we finally reached my building.

I thanked the driver and popped my umbrella open, stepping out and shivering immediately as ice-cold rain soaked my foot up to my ankle. Naturally, my last pair of boots had a hole in the sole that made them as useless as my flats, to my dismay. I'd dry my feet off at my desk and just deal with it.

I shut the car door behind me, took about two steps, and then a woman with no umbrella, braced with a suitcase over her head, barreled past me from a nearby ride. She knocked me over onto my knees, right in a puddle that splashed shockingly cold water up my skirt, halfway up my blouse, and displaced my umbrella just long enough to turn my hair into a soggy mess.

Perfect.

Just _perfect._

I shoved myself up and lifted the umbrella, wincing as I felt a sharp pain on my knee. I glanced down to see a smudge of blood and groaned angrily before hobbling into the lobby with the other office mice. Once there, I shut my umbrella and miserably stood there trying to shake the water out of my poor grey suit and white dress shirt, shivering like a leaf in a hurricane as the frigid air conditioning hit me on all sides.

"Miss?"

I yelped slightly in alarm as a rich, baritone voice spoke to my left. I turned to see a towering man with dark blond hair next to me, appearing to have just walked in. He was handsome enough to elicit staring from female strangers, sporting a neatly trimmed beard the same color as his hair and wearing a rather nice navy suit, a burgundy tie, and matching burgundy shoes. His eyes were the color the skies were when they weren't trying to drown us all, a summery blue, and right now, they were filled with the utmost sympathy.

"Are you alright?" he asked gently, revealing a British accent as he closed his own umbrella. "I saw you take a tumble just now."

Oh, good. Mr. Hardbody saw me wipe out. Great first impression there. I cursed myself inwardly but gave him the closest thing to a smile that I could muster. "I'm f-f-fine, t-tougher than I l-look, I s-swear."

"Oh, my, you're freezing," he said, aghast, and then to my complete surprise, he whipped off his suit jacket and draped it around my shoulders. It was as warm as bed covers on a cold night, and smelled faintly of cologne. "It's a nightmare out there."

I couldn't do much more than cling to my own elbows as I tried to warm up, and the Good Samaritan did his part by rubbing my arms over and over again through his jacket. "Poor thing. They should send you home to change."

I laughed unsteadily. "Yeah, right. If I go home, I'm staying there. It's okay. I have a heater under my desk that should get me unfrozen soon enough."

He sighed and shook his head. "Still, I feel terrible for you. Not a good way to start the day, is it?"

I tried to keep a cool expression, but I couldn't help smiling up at the handsome, kind stranger for a second. "I've had worse."

He caught my gaze then, and smiled warmly at me in return. "I'll take your word for it."

For a second, I didn't really mind the soaked clothing, if only because it had given me an excuse to bump into this beefcake. Alas, it would be nothing more than a fleeting footnote on what promised to be a terrible day. Still, I let myself stare up at him, breathless, for a few extra seconds just to enjoy him fully. His hands slowed on my arms as he stared back at me, that friendly look somehow deepening.

Then he blushed a bit and stepped back once he noticed he'd nearly been holding a woman he had just met. "Excuse me, where are my manners? I'm Thor Odinson. I work up on the twelfth floor."

I wiped my hand on the driest bit of skirt I could find and shook his in turn, giving him my name. "I'm an admin. I work on the fifth floor. How come I've never seen you here before?"

"Well, I'm actually a bit new here. Only been here for a month and a half, and I normally arrive earlier but the storm pretty much made everyone late." He checked his watch and winced. "Speaking of which..."

"Yeah, I don't want to keep you, especially not if you're new." I started to take the jacket off, but he held up both hands.

"No, no, my lady, please. Keep it until you've warmed up some."

I blinked at him. "It would be rude to take it. I mean, what if you get cold upstairs?"

"I run hot," he told me. "I promise, it's no trouble. Please keep it until you've defrosted."

I stifled a giggle at his wording and slid it onto my shoulders again. "Alright, alright, but only because you insisted. I'll get it dry cleaned and return it to you. Sound good?"

"Sounds perfect, my lady." Thor cocked his head slightly and gave me another one of those winning smiles. "I hope the rest of your day goes up from here."

I snorted. "Hell, so do I. Thanks, Thor. Nice to meet you."

He winked at me. "Same."

He waved and then headed for the set of elevators to the left, and I headed towards the ones on the right. We were both still smiling at each other by the time the doors closed.

* * *

I was no stranger to my phone ringing about seven billion times per day, and half the time I didn’t bother looking at the number if I was truly on a roll, as I was now. I immediately switched to my friendly, adorable assistant voice, the saccharine tone an auditory salve for the most troublesome people. “How may I assist you?”

“My lady, have you defrosted yet?”

I paused and blinked a few times, and then it clicked. My Good Samaritan fellow coworker was calling. “Oh! It’s you. Um, I can at least feel my toes now, if that helps.”

“Excellent!” he cheered, and I couldn’t resist a smile at his enthusiasm. “What about the other extremities?”

I chuckled. “It took a while, but yeah, I’m all dried off and back to a normal temperature now. Thanks again for your jacket. You have good taste, by the way. It’s really comfortable despite being like four sizes too big for me.”

He gave me a gentle laugh then. “Why, thank you. Listen, I was wondering if you’ve eaten yet. It’s right around lunchtime and I have a mad deli craving.”

Again, I blinked at the phone in total stupor. Then I kicked my brain into working. “Um, t-that would be okay with me. I haven’t eaten yet. Want to go halfsies on it?”

“Actually, I was hoping you’d let me buy you something,” he admitted sheepishly. “I felt so terrible for you that I couldn’t stop thinking about you all morning. Please? It’ll make me feel better.”

“You want to buy me a sandwich to make you feel better?” I asked incredulously.

“Yes,” he said, as if there were nothing at all strange about it. Thor was definitely a little on the odd side.

I bit my lower lip. “I dunno, I’d feel kind of guilty letting a total stranger buy me a pity lunch.”

Thor laughed again, still as warm as ever. “Well, I’ll make you a deal. We’ll eat our lunches together and get to know each other. Then I won’t be a stranger anymore and you will be availed of your guilt, my lady. Deal?”

I shook my head in disbelief. “Okay, deal.”

“Great! I’ll email you the menu. Pick whatever you like and I’ll ring you once it’s here.”

“Thanks, Thor. This is very sweet of you.”

“Bah! I am completely self-interested. You owe me no thanks.”

I stifled a giggle. “Fine. Talk to you in a bit.”

“Aye, my lady.” I hung up. A moment later, a new email pinged with the online menu for a popular sandwich spot around the corner. If it hadn’t been for the monsoon, I’d take a walk to go get it and save on the delivery fee, but it was still a nightmare outside. I hoped he would tip the driver a ton for putting up with the bad weather.

Roughly twenty minutes later, my phone rang again and Thor asked if I wanted to eat on my floor or his, since each floor had its own lounge areas. I elected for his, since I wasn’t sure what would happen if the gossiping hens on my own floor saw me eating with the beefcake. The last thing I wanted was for rumors to start flying. Although, God, I should be so lucky.

I didn’t wear his jacket, though I had been wearing it in my cubicle, which garnered me a lot of side-eyes. It would look a little too much like it was a boyfriend-girlfriend meet up. I rode the elevator up to the twelfth floor lobby and hung a right, finding a large open area with a semi-circle of tables and soft cushions that served as an overflow during busy times, but also was a nice spot for employees to eat while on their lunch breaks.

Thor stood leaning against the wall by the open doorway, tapping away on his phone. I cleared my throat as I approached and he glanced up, nearly bowling me over with another fantastic, sunny smile. He held a large paper bag under one arm and a small caddy with our bottled drinks in it. “My lady.”

I cocked my head slightly and pursed my lips before curtseying. “My lord.”

He chuckled. “Why do you keep calling me that?” I asked, though not with any heat.

“You are a lady, are you not?” he asked, a twinkle of teasing in his eyes.

“Sure, but you make it sound so…Elizabethan when you say it with the accent.”

“Well,” he said as we walked over to claim a table. “I find that respect is a lost art. Ladies should be addressed as such unless they indicate otherwise.”

I took a seat. “That could be misconstrued as sexist, you know.”

He gave me a wink as he set down the bag and the drinks. “Haven’t heard a complaint yet.”

I shook my head and dug into the bag, distributing both our sandwiches and chips and cookies. Mine was an Italian, his a roast beef with Swiss. We tore into them eagerly and exchanged polite chit-chat and banter in between bites, learning more about each other’s work.

“What made you decide to move here?” I asked.

To my surprise, Thor’s sunny grin faded. He cleared his throat and dropped his gaze to the half of a pickle left on his plate. “Oh, I, uh…had a long-term relationship that did not work out.”

I winced. “Oh, I’m sorry, Thor. I didn’t mean to bring it up—”

“No, no, it’s alright. She and I were living together and we decided to end things, so I moved somewhere temporarily and decided to start over completely: new town, new job, new me.”

“I hope it’s working out for you so far,” I told him as sincerely as possible. A bit of that smile returned then as he looked up at me.

“It is, thank you.”

I chewed my lower lip. “So I’d guess that you’re not exactly dating right now, huh?”

“Not at the moment, no.” His smile turned a touch sly. “Why do you ask?”

“Oh, um, I’m not trying to be nosy or anything,” I said, flustered that he’d called me out on the question. “I just know that some of the ladies in my department would love to meet you. Not that I condone dating in the workplace, I just—”

He chuckled. “If you backtrack anymore, you’ll fall off the balcony.”

I scowled at him and then stole the cookie off his plate, pointedly biting down into it and then dropping it back on there. He held my gaze, picked it up, and took a bite as well, right where my mouth had been. That stopped me dead in my tracks. Oh, my. I wasn’t sure what to make of it.

I checked my watch just to give myself an excuse not to get lost in his eyes. “I should probably head back. They’re very strict about the lunch hour.”

“Aye.” We cleaned up our table and dumped the trash in a nearby can. “Thank you for joining me. If it’s not too much of a chore, I’d like to make this a regular thing.”

My heart leapt at the offer. I tried to play it cool. “Sure. That’d be fine. You’ve got my extension.”

“That I do. I certainly hope your day improves, my lady. Until tomorrow.”

It was easy to smile up at him with the promise of getting to see him again. “Until tomorrow, Thor.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This'll be on the shorter side, by the way. The original concept was a meet cute and so it'll be under five chapters. Smut's on the way, don't worry. Y'all know by now my thirst is incurable.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Thor decide to put yourselves back out there in the dating world together.

**Three months later…**

I heard a knock on the side of my cubicle. “Excuse me, but I am looking for the most beautiful woman in all the world.”

I bit back a laugh and shook my head. “Sorry, she’s not here, keep looking.”

Thor chuckled. “Ready, my lady?”

I finished typing and then hit the Send button on the email. “Now I am.”

I switched the computer to Sleep mode and stood, grabbing my jacket. I donned it and then looped arms with my lunch buddy, heading towards the elevator. He had a thick brown paper sack tucked under his other arm containing Chinese food and the very thought of it made my stomach growl. “How goes?”

“Oh, the usual,” I said dismissively. “Too many clients to handle at once, all nipping at my heels. You?”

“Oh, the usual,” he echoed. “Ungrateful clients calling to complain that they’re not billionaires instead of millionaires. Rich people really are the worst.”

“Right?” We chatted about how our days were going as we left the building, walked a couple blocks, and then found our spot at the park by the fountain to eat. After exchanging our usual complaints about work, we found our way into different subject matter.

“Right, here’s the roundup for this week.” I withdrew a sticky note from my pocket. “Suzie, Sherry, and Blanca all want to know if you want to go out clubbing with them this Friday.”

Thor shook his head in amazement. “Translate that for me.”

I cleared my throat. “We’re trying to get you drunk so you’ll makeout with one or all of us.”

He nodded. “Ah. I see. Please give them my regards, but I’m afraid I must decline.”

“Will do.” I tucked it away, but gave him a knowing look. “Not to be obnoxious, but have you considered getting back out there yet?”

“I am not sure I’m ready,” he admitted. “It is a lot of work to date in these modern times.”

“I hear you. It can be pretty exhausting.”

He cocked his head slightly. “Is that why you are unattached?”

“More or less. But also because guys don’t really go for the meek secretary types.”

“You are anything but meek, my lady,” he teased. “What’s the real reason?”

I sighed. “Fine. I can be a bit defensive. It’s hard letting someone in. I’m worried about disappointing them.”

“That’s understandable,” he said gently. “But it shouldn’t stop you from trying if that is what you really want. Maybe we should both give it a go. You know. Go out together for moral support.”

I blinked at him. “What, like be each other’s wingman?”

He shrugged. “Sure, why not? We are comfortable and compatible with each other. I am large and scary, so if some fellow does not take the hint, I can easily ward him off. You can certainly do the same if I find myself unable to disengage with a woman. Besides, by now I think we both know what the other person would like in a romantic partner and we can help chat up suitors.”

I thought about it. Well, he wasn’t wrong. I was a bit awkward and it would be nice to have Thor talk me up to a potential date first. Thor was unbelievably charming and with that accent, he could make practically anything sound good. “You know what? Let’s do it. Friday night, you and me.”

Thor grinned and clinked his soda bottle with mine. “Looking forward to it, my lady.”

It took some deliberation that Friday night when I stood in front of my closet, dusting off my array of date dresses. I hadn’t been out in a while due to general tiredness from being a working adult. I texted Thor what he thought I should wear and he blithely told me, “whatever you feel most pretty and comfortable in.” I gave him the eyeroll emoji and he gave me a wink back. Dork.

The doorbell rang just as I affixed my earrings. I ran a brush through my hair a final time and answered it to find Thor in casual clothes: a crisp black V-neck t-shirt, light jeans, a nice watch, and loafers. I cocked my head and examined him, which made him laugh. “What?”

“Nothing,” I said. “You just look completely different in jeans and a t-shirt. It’s weird.”

He chuckled, tucking his huge hands into his pockets and eyeing me just the same. “And you look far different in seductive clothing yourself, but you don’t hear me complaining.”

I rolled my eyes. “That wasn’t a complaint, just an observation.”

I pretended not to preen a bit that he’d affirmed me. I’d dug up a burgundy dress that hugged my curves, but didn’t squeeze them. My heels matched, but they weren’t too high as I figured I’d be standing a lot and they had cushions built in. Thank God for DSW.

I nodded for him to come in and he stepped into my apartment. Calvin Klein cologne wafted after him as he brushed by, just a whiff, not a cloud. He’d applied the perfect amount, which a lot of men didn’t know how to do. He was going to break a lot of hearts tonight.

He hovered around the living area while I headed into the kitchen and poured us both a pre-clubbing drink. I didn’t drink often, but I kept a few things for when I had a tough week, and hanging out with Thor meant I kept some apple whiskey handy in case we both needed one. This wasn’t his first time over; we’d had a couple movie nights to unwind before.

I handed him his glass and we clinked them, taking a long sip each. He grinned at me. “Ready, partner?”

“No,” I said after another sip. “But let’s go anyway.”

“You will be utterly charming,” he promised. “Men will fall at your feet in droves.”

I snorted. “Uh-huh. Prepare to be disappointed, Odinson.”

“By you? Never.” He drained his drink and kissed my cheek. “Let’s go, my lady.”

I tried not to let a sappy smile overtake my lips as I finished my drink as well and called the Uber. We headed to the corner and climbed in, riding downtown to a chic bar that was a local watering hole for working professionals. The music was upbeat, but not obnoxious party tracks, thank God. I wasn’t much of a dancer. I could get by, but nothing impressive.

We stopped at the bar, grabbed a couple drinks, and then surveyed the room. As predicted, it was bustling with singles and Thor had turned heads since the second he walked in on my arm. We made sure not to stand too close to avoid giving off a couple vibe.

“Where do you want to start?” I asked. “Not that you need my help.”

“I most certainly need your help,” Thor insisted. “I want to avoid the shallow ones. I’ll give you a signal if I need to be bailed out. I’ll rub my ear. What’s yours?”

“I’ll push my hair behind my ear. Let’s plan to make a loop and then meet back, but keep an eye on each other in the meantime.”

“Aye. Good luck, beautiful.” He winked and headed towards the nearest redhead who stood in a small circle of girls who had been all but eye-fucking him. I shook my head, laughing in my throat, and finished my margarita before heading towards a couple of cute guys near the wall.

I was no social butterfly, but I’d been out enough times to know the script of meeting someone new and how to keep from boring them to death. The guys I met weren’t half bad and managed to avoid too many awkward pauses. One of them stared at my chest a lot, though, so I ruled him out. Probably a horndog. The one with the darker hair paid more attention to me, but his eyes strayed every so often around the room, so I figured he wasn’t terribly interested. After several minutes of chatting, I checked on Thor. He stood in the center of the throng of girls, smiling and laughing, but once his eyes strayed to meet mine, he rubbed his ear. Oh dear. He needed a rescue.

“If you’ll excuse me,” I told the guys politely. “It was nice meeting you.”

I headed towards Thor and took a deep breath, throwing on a friendly smile.

“Hey, babe!” I said loudly, throwing my arms around his neck and giving him a big kiss on the cheek. “Miss me?”

“Desperately, darling,” he said, wrapping one beefy arm around my waist and cuddling me to his side. “I’m so glad you’re here. I want you to meet the girls! This is Misty, Bianca, Barbie, and Sandra.”

I beamed at them, trying not to laugh as I noticed the crestfallen expressions they’d all gotten the second I appeared. “Hi, ladies. I hope he’s not driving you too crazy.”

They all muttered in dissent and sipped their drinks. “Listen, sweetie, there’s someone I’d like you to meet. Do you mind?”

“Not at all, muffin,” he said. “Would you excuse me, ladies?”

They gave halfhearted goodbyes and we stepped away from them, heading back to our corner for a pow wow. Thor’s arm stayed around me the whole way and I tried not to notice just how good it felt, that heavy weight of hand along the small of my back, the way he absently rubbed his thumb over it. Damn him. He wasn’t doing it on purpose, but it felt amazing.

“Thank you,” he sighed once we were in our secluded spot. “Goodness me, it’s like _Sex and the City_ over there.”

I laughed into my hand. “Oh, no. Really?”

“Really,” he said severely. “I was sure they were going to eat me alive. I’d die under a pile of fake breasts and tanning cream. Did you have any better luck?”

“Not really. They weren’t terribly interested. Told you so.”

“Oh, poppycock, it’s just two guys out of a whole room. We’ll try again shortly. First, I want to see your moves.”

I lifted both eyebrows. “My moves?”

“Yes, yes, I want to dance,” he said eagerly.

I almost laughed. “Uh, no.”

“Come on,” he begged. “We’re at a club. You’re supposed to dance.”

“Correction: we’re at a bar that has a dance floor. Big difference. And I can’t dance.”

Thor eyed me. “I don’t believe you.”

“Too bad. I don’t want to dance.”

“Why not?”

“I’m not very good at it.”

“You don’t have to be good at it. You’re supposed to have fun, remember?”

My cheeks heated up. “I know that, but it’s not fun if you don’t know what you’re doing.”

He rolled his eyes. “You’re being defensive, my lady.”

“So?” I grumbled, crossing my arms. “I told you I was defensive, remember?”

“That you did.” He took one of my hands and pulled me close, using the full force of those blue eyes and that handsome face to give me a devastating puppy dog look. “Come on, just one. Please?”

I stomped my foot. “Thor! That’s not fair.”

“Please? For me?”

“Ugh! You’re the worst. Fine. But you’re buying my drink after we’re done.”

“Done!” He led me to the dance floor, where Perry Como’s “Papa Loves Mambo” had just started up. Thor drew me close, an arm around my back, my other hand in his, chest to chest, in a casual mambo formation. I wrapped my other arm around his neck, trying to scowl at him, but he just smiled and took the lead. He shocked the living hell out of me from how smoothly and easily he danced, swinging me with gentle grace, spinning on a dime, his large, heavy body somehow far more agile than it looked. Dancing felt effortless in his arms. I didn’t have an urge to look around us, to worry about how I looked, not with him so close and wonderful and entrancing. I found myself giggling as we danced, giddy and shy and drunk with pleasure as we moved in unison. He even dipped me on the final note and I couldn’t help but laugh.

“You’re so ridiculous,” I chided merrily as he straightened the both of us. “And where did you learn to dance?”

He clucked his tongue. “It’s no fun if I reveal all my secrets. I have to keep some mystery.”

“Uh-huh. You’re a regular Sherlock Holmes story.”

“Indubitably.”

I laughed again and as it faded away, I heard the new song that the last one had faded into: something slow and romantic, the kind of song that invited a waltz. George Michael crooned a moment later.

_“You are far_   
_When I could have been your star_   
_You listened to people who scared you to death_   
_And from my heart_   
_Strange that you were strong enough to even make a start_   
_But you’ll never find_   
_Peace of mind_   
_‘Til you listen to your heart…”_

I cleared my throat nervously. “Um, we should probably—”

“Do you mind?” Thor asked quietly, hopefully. I bit my lower lip. I couldn’t help it. I liked being near him, truth be told. I probably should have said no, but I didn’t. I nodded and let him wrap his arms around me again. Dammit, it felt nice to be held. I tried to distract myself by sinking into the song.

_“People, you can never change the way they feel_   
_Better let them do just what they will_   
_For they will, if you let them, steal your heart from you_   
_People will always make a lover feel a fool_   
_But you knew I loved you_   
_We could have shown them all_   
_We should have seen love through…”_

“Great song,” Thor murmured. “Always loved George Michael.”

“Mm,” I agreed, glad he was there to hold me up. He smelled great and he was warm, solid, against me. My knees got a little weaker the longer we swayed together. I felt like I could drift off in his arms without a care in the world. Danger, Will Robinson, danger.

_“Fooled me with the tears in your eyes_   
_Covered me with kisses and lies_   
_So bye!_   
_But please don’t take my heart!_

_You are far_   
_I’m never gonna be your star_   
_I’ll pick up the pieces and mend my heart_   
_Maybe I’ll be strong enough_   
_I don’t know where to start_   
_But I’ll never find peace of mind_   
_While I listen to my heart…”_

“Aren’t you worried?” I mumbled into his shoulder.

“Hmm?” he asked.

“We look like a couple right now.”

“What? Friends can’t slow dance?”

I smothered another giggle. “Not male and female friends, no.”

“Are you ashamed of me?” he teased. “Are you averse to the idea of someone thinking you are my girlfriend?”

“Oh, please. I thought you’d be the one ashamed to be seen with me.”

Thor pulled back enough to look down at me in confusion. “Why would I be?”

“Come on,” I groaned. “You’re a ten. I’m a five on my best day.”

He scoffed. “How dare you. I will not tolerate such talk. You are a ten and I’ll pinch you if I hear you say otherwise ever again, my lady.”

“Uh-huh. Flattery gets you nowhere with me, Odinson.”

“I do not flatter,” he sniffed. “I am telling the truth. You are stunning. Accept nothing less than the truth.”

He paused. “And for the record, I’m an eleven.”

I gave him a light smack and he chuckled just as the song reached the bridge.

_“But remember this every other kiss_   
_That you ever give long as we both live_   
_When you need the hand of another man_   
_One you really can surrender with_   
_I will wait for you like I always do_   
_There’s something there_   
_That can’t compare with any other…”_

My eyes had drifted closed again for a bit, but I got a sudden instinct and opened them to see the group of girls from earlier giving me simultaneously death stares. I shook with laughter enough that Thor got curious. “What?”

“Your fan club is not pleased with this development,” I said, gesturing towards them. He followed my finger and smirked.

“Oh, dear. They look as if they have it out for you. I may need to be your bodyguard for the rest of the night.”

“Maybe.”

A mischievous look entered his features then, complete with an actual sparkle in his eyes. “Do you wish to make them truly miserable?”

I considered it. “Well, I am unbelievably petty, so yes.”

“Excellent.” He lowered his face towards my neck and began to kiss it very gently.

Oh God. No. I’d made an enormous mistake.

And yet my mouth didn’t seem to be working right now, except to bite my lip to keep from moaning right there on the dance floor.

To his credit, it was just for show, so he didn’t use his tongue, but he peppered my skin with delicate, intimate kisses from the bottom of my jaw down to the peak of my shoulder. It took all of my strength not to sag against him as a lump of overheated clay. I hadn’t felt anything this good in months. Such a simple, intimate touch. I didn’t realize I’d missed it so much.

And it worked perfectly.

The flock of jealous women harrumphed and stomped off elsewhere, probably making uncharitable comments about me. Petty joy broke through my drunken lethargy. Thor chuckled as he watched them go, nuzzling my ear. “We certainly showed them.”

“Uh-huh,” I slurred. “Serves them right.”

_“Strange that I was wrong enough_   
_To think you’d love me too_   
_Guess you were kissing a fool…”_

Thor heard the song drawing to its end, sliding his arms from around me, just leaving those big hands on my hips. I nearly whined at the loss of warmth. His touch was intoxicating. I didn’t really blame the girls for being jealous. His lips parted. They looked so soft. I tried not to stare.

“Thank you,” he murmured.

“Mm?” I asked, as if saying it too loudly would break the spell.

“For coming out with me tonight,” he said, brushing a stray hair behind my ear. “For dancing with me. Thank you, my lady.”

Words filled my mouth. Stupid ones, like “come home with me tonight.” I managed to bite them back and instead settled for a defeated, “You’re welcome.”

_“You must have been kissing a fool.”_


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of the club has some interesting results.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter. Told you it would be short. But juicy. Ehehehehe...

After the slow dance, we carried on drinking at the bar, but our little display had caught the eye of a few folks, so they were leery of hitting on us. Neither of us minded all that much, too busy talking about politics and movies and the future.

We caught the Uber back to my place and by then, we were both properly sloshed from the drinks. Thor could have taken the Uber home, but he declined, wanting to have some coffee and maybe a snack to sober up before he’d go back on his own. I turned on some Netflix and brewed the coffee, slicing a couple pieces of chocolate cake from a work birthday party that I’d taken home the night before. We curled up on the sofa with our coffee and cake and watched whatever show I’d managed to turn on. I wasn’t really following it; something about aliens and a very stupid family.

Thor finished both and stretched out, wiggling his fingers at me with a childish pout. “Come give us a cuddle.”

I shook my head at him. “Oh, no. You’re a big teddy bear when you’re drunk, aren’t you?”

“Yes,” he confirmed. “Cuddle me.”

I laughed and scooted over until he hauled me into his lap. We were both too sauced to really care about how intimate the gesture was, especially since my skirt hitched most of the way up my thighs in the position we’d settled into on the couch. I dropped my head on his chest and he surrounded me in his arms, rubbing the small of my back until I purred like a content kitten. He kissed my forehead and relaxed into the cushions. Our eyes drooped in unison. We were both asleep by the time the episode was halfway over.

I didn’t mind it one bit.

I woke up in quite an… _interesting_ predicament.

I’d pretty much snuggled down into Thor’s embrace completely overnight. I fit snugly in his arms, one of my legs loosely looped around his thigh, the other trailing straight down. Thor had mostly propped himself along the couch cushions, one knee slightly up to let me have the room to rest along his gigantic frame, the other leg trailing onto the floor. Both arms were still wrapped around me, his hands resting near the small of my back. He breathed deep and slow, so relaxing that I wanted to go right back to sleep so I could stay here.

Except for the fact that I could feel him completely aroused between my thighs.

A blush consumed my entire face at once. It wasn’t his fault. It was natural, both because it was morning and because he had a semi-attractive woman literally sleeping on top of him. However, it presented me with quite a debacle, as there was almost no chance I could extract myself without him waking up and realizing he had a boner. It wasn’t like our friendship couldn’t survive such a thing, but the more I thought about it, the more embarrassed I got.

Mostly because Thor had quite the hammer, to use a terrible pun.

I tried to decide if I should do it quickly and maybe he’d be too groggy to note how we’d fallen asleep. Then again, I didn’t want to startle him. I’d probably just have to live with the awkwardness. Thor would roll with it for certain. I’d be alright.

I took a deep breath and pushed up on my hands, separating our chests. Thor rumbled sleepily as he felt my body moving atop his.

And he unconsciously pushed down on my hips with both hands.

Before I could stop myself, I moaned.

Thor’s hands tightened over my waist and his eyes drifted open, clouded with something the exact middle between confused and lustful. He stared up at me with those dilated pupils, blinking slowly, watching me hover there straddling him, breathing much too fast in a combination of panic and arousal.

“Hmm,” he murmured sleepily. “Haven’t had this dream in a while.”

“Dream?” I echoed, but before I could register anything else, Thor lifted his head enough to kiss me.

I melted. His lips had felt soft enough on my throat, but on my lips, they were so plush I wanted to cry. He slid his hand up my spine to the spot between my shoulder blades, caressing it, then slid his fingers into my hair. I whimpered as his fingertips tickled over my scalp, guiding me into the kiss as he deepened in, licking my lips apart. His other hand slid down over my ass, closing over the firm flesh just enough to drive another moan out of me.

“T-Thor,” I gasped out shakily, nearly done in as his hips pushed up against me, letting me feel more of his cock beneath the jeans. “You’re not—we’re not—oh, _fuck_.”

My eyes rolled back as he bit my neck, his voice rough. “Not what?”

I licked my swollen lips and tried again. “Y-You’re not asleep right now.”

“Yes, I am,” he mumbled, nuzzling my shoulder. “How else do you explain what we’re doing right now?”

Well, he did have a point. I reached down and pinched his bicep. He hissed.

And then went completely still.

“Oh, hell,” he whispered. “I’ve gone and done it, haven’t I?”

“Just a bit,” I said weakly.

Thor let go of me and sat up, his expression deeply pained. “My lady, I can’t even begin to tell you how sorry I am. I-I thought—”

“I know,” I told him, scooting out of his lap and absently tugging my dress down. “It’s not your fault. You’re a heavy sleeper.”

He covered his face with both hands. “I can’t believe I just did that to you. I am so sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

“It’s not okay,” he said fiercely. “Who knows how far I could have gone before I woke up? I shouldn’t have done those things—said those things to you—”

“Even though you’ve dreamt about it?” I asked quietly.

He stilled, the frustration falling away. “What?”

“You said…” I licked my lips, my heart beating hard enough it actually hurt. “You said, ‘Haven’t had this dream in a while.’”

Thor stared at me and then swallowed hard. “I…said that?”

I nodded and grabbed a throw pillow, hugging it to my stomach for strength. “Yeah.”

“Oh, dear,” he said, running a hand through his tousled hair. “I apologize. You must be feeling so confused.”

“Yes,” I admitted. “But…it’s not…” I struggled with the words.

“Not what?” he asked.

“I, um, I didn’t…” I breathed deep and took a leap of faith. “I didn’t want you to stop.”

“Stop what?”

I squeezed the pillow and shut my eyes. “What you were doing just now. I didn’t really want you to stop.”

I heard him shift slightly. He touched my chin, my cheek. I opened my eyes to see him inches away, his blue eyes drenched in lust. He kissed me, sliding his hand back to cup my face. I touched his hand where it rested, sighing in relief. He kissed me hungrily, nipping at my lips, breathing faster when my tongue met his in our mouths.

“My lady,” he said against my lips. “I have wanted this since we met, but I did not want to seem too forward. Do I have your permission?”

“Yes,” I whispered. “Yes, God, Thor, I’ve wanted you so much, but I didn’t want to risk being wrong.”

He chuckled. “You were not wrong. It seems we’ve both been fools.”

Thor lay back against the arm of the couch and tugged me with him into the position we’d been in when we woke up, only on purpose this time. I bit my lip and took another chance, asking, “What exactly we were doing in your dreams?”

Thor’s smirk imbued me with a deep, carnal heat. “Things I should not repeat in present company.”

The smirk then widened. “But since you asked…”

He ran his hands up my calves in a slow path towards my thighs. “There were times with you in my bed, your beautiful legs up on my shoulders, my cock deep inside you. There were times with you as you are now, riding me on this couch. There were times with you on top of your desk, bent over, your skirt up around your hips, me taking you from behind. Is that enough or shall I go on?”

I shivered as he pushed the dress up further and tickled over the delicate skin of my outer thighs. “I can’t believe you felt that way about me. I didn’t think you even could.”

Thor gave me a helpless look. “You are too modest, my lady. I tried to flirt with you at every possible opportunity, hoping to find out if the attraction was mutual. Alas, I was too unsure to make a move, for I worried I would offend you and you’d avoid me. I’d rather long for you at a distance than risk losing your friendship.”

I couldn’t take another second. He was so sweet. I kissed him, suddenly ravenous, clawing at his shirt in my haste. He helped me take it off and I raked my nails down that mighty chest, listening to him purr. His skin was searing hot and perfectly smooth all over. I licked his Adam’s apple, the rasp of his beard somehow pleasant, following a path to his collarbone. Thor tried his best to stay still, but his lower body rubbed against my lap in impatient surges, allowing me to feel even more of the bulge underneath his jeans. He got the dress high enough to expose my panties and fondled my ass, squeezing little moans out of me as I kissed my way down his abs.

By the time I got his pants undone, we were both panting like maniacs. I jerked his boxer-briefs down to find him long, thick, and hard beneath them, just as impressive as I thought. Too impressive, in fact, as I tried to determine if all of him would fit. He hissed as my fingers gripped him lightly, twitching against my palm, precum beading along the tip of his cock. I brushed my lips across it first, testing him, and he exhaled quickly, his face flushed, settling his hands on my shoulders since he couldn’t reach the rest of me. I liked him this way, aroused and impatient and frustrated.

I licked him once and then let the head slide across the flat of my tongue. Thor groaned my name and fought to keep still, settling into the couch as best as he could. I slid him in as far as I could reach and then let him fall free, allowing my fingers to follow where my mouth had been.

“Fucking hell,” Thor sighed, his eyes drifting closed as I took him in again, keeping a steady pace. He massaged my shoulders, the nape of my neck, sultry growls escaping him every few seconds as I licked and sucked at his cock. I couldn’t get enough of those wonderful sounds of his, wanting more and more, going faster to draw them out of him.

“My lady,” he finally said, squeezing my wrist where it lay on his stomach. “I’ll be no good to you soon.”

Pride filled me. I released him with a truly filthy wet pop and he jerked me up the length of his body, so eager that he couldn’t help jabbing my ass with that hard cock. He sat up and kissed me, his voice commanding. “Wrap your arms and legs around me.”

I obeyed and he stood in one smooth motion, carrying me to the bedroom like a maiden from the spoils of war. He lowered me onto the rumpled sheets and stood at the edge of the bed, helping me as I wriggled out of the dress. I’d ditched the heels last night, so I was left in a fairly nice navy bra and matching panties, having worn them in case a date had panned out. Thor licked his lips as I unsnapped it, lunging for me the instant the lingerie hit the floor. I cried out as his hot mouth enveloped my right breast, pushing up as his other hand cupped the left one. The scratch of his beard against the sensitive nub drove me crazy, made my gyrate up against the front of his body. He used the hand on my chest to hold me down against the mattress, wordlessly telling me to behave and be patient, but I was too far gone by now. I ground my pelvis against his cobblestone abs, mewling as it gave me brief relief from the ache yawning through me.

Thor pressed down harder, glancing up at me through his golden lashes. “Be a good girl for me. I will reward you.”

“Thor,” I pleaded, scraping his powerful back muscles with my nails as he kissed my belly.

He raked the panties off and rose up over me, his smirk lascivious. “Spread your legs. Show me what’s mine.”

I shuddered deeply and parted my thighs. Thor pushed my knees further apart, his blue eyes ablaze with lust. “A pretty cunt for a pretty girl.”

He sank between my legs, starting at the inside of my knee. He drew one hand down the outer side, sliding his tongue along the sensitive skin, eventually lapping up the wetness that had already smeared there from my level of arousal. I couldn’t catch my breath, too keyed up from the promise of what he would do to me. He journeyed further until his warm breath covered my slit. He brought his thumb up to spread me open more, finding my clit first, his soft lips wrapping around it. I shrieked and bucked up into his mouth. My legs looped around his neck and he didn’t fight it, instead securing his elbows on the bed and diving in further. His tongue slipped into me, spreading liquid nirvana up through my lower body and out into every limb. He growled in satisfaction as he tasted me, heard me crying out for him, cupping my ass with both hands to keep me still as he worked. He lapped at my inner walls, circling outward to the petals, careful to tease my spot at the end of each pass. I buried my hands in his golden hair and all but rode his face, twitching and convulsing on the bed as the climax welled up inside me.

“Thor,” I whimpered. “I’m—mm—I can’t hold out any longer, please.”

“Don’t,” he told me. “Fall apart for me, my lady.”

He hooked his middle finger inside me and sucked my clit. I screamed and came immediately on his mouth, his finger, my spine arching. I’d never felt anything so good in my life. My inner walls fluttered over the long digit wildly, shooting fireworks through my veins. The world drained out of my eyes and ears for several minutes as I tumbled through my orgasm at lightspeed.

I roused as Thor carefully extracted himself from my shaking legs and slipped his finger free, giving me enough time to see him lick it clean as well as his mouth. He wiped his beard on the sheets and gave me a very private little wink. “Delicious.”

I covered my face with both hands, too scandalized to respond. He let out a playful, jovial laugh. I heard the sound of his jeans being pushed off his legs and peeked through a gap in my fingers to see him climbing onto the bed above me: golden, glorious, and graceful. He kissed me, running one big hand down my stomach, petting it to get me to relax underneath him. Somewhere in the messy, urgent kisses, he muttered, “Protection?”

“Pill,” I slurred, running a hand through his hair. “On the pill. Hurry up before I lose my nerve, Odinson.”

“As my lady wishes,” he whispered against my lips. I didn’t know why, but it was the sexiest thing that ever happened to me.

He arranged my legs on either side of his broad frame and planted one hand next to me, smiling like he was about to devour me whole. “Watch me.”

I blushed, but lowered my gaze to between us just in time to see him slide that long cock into me one inch at a time. I clawed at his shoulders, exhaling loudly as he filled me, nearly stretching me to capacity once he’d made it all the way in. A lovely heat spilled through me. Electric sparks darted over my skin.

Thor felt _good_.

He nuzzled my neck as he rested some of his weight on top of me, purring contently. “Gods above, you are sweet, my lady.”

He withdrew halfway and completed another thrust, groaning again. “In every sense of the word.”

Thor kissed my lips and captured me in his fiery gaze. “Would you like me to fuck you, my lady?”

“Yes,” I breathed. “Yes, please.”

He didn’t hesitate.

Not once.

He anchored himself above me and pumped his cock inside me at exactly the right pace, letting me feel him, his body, his lips on my skin, his sighs in my ear. His cock parted me easily from just how wet I’d gotten, slamming against the end of me, dragging delightfully against my most hidden spots. My eyes rolled back in my head. I dissolved into the bed, a woman possessed, as he fucked me without an ounce of selfishness to it. He fucked me like he wanted to worship me, as if I sustained him somehow.

I came the first time when he shifted his knees up, driving deeper, hitting my spot too sweetly for me not to come undone. Shudders rolled down my sweaty skin and I cried out softly, sliding my hands down his chest just to find something to hold onto. I came the second time when he kissed his way up my neck and sucked on my ear lobe, rolling his hips in endless circles. I came the third time when he slid his hand down my back and gripped my ass, pulling me up against him, his pelvis rubbing my clit until I collapsed in submission again.

“Yes…yes…please, Thor, please… _ah_ …so big…God, please!” I could hear myself sobbing out partial words as he kept thrusting, kept up those powerful strokes, fucking me like he’d never stop. I tensed as I reached the peak again, squirming in protest, but he knew not to let me get away with it. He caught my wrists and pinned them over my head, stretching my body out before him, kissing his way down my neck to my breasts, his strokes never ceasing.

“I can’t come again,” I moaned out as his teeth lightly teased my nipples. “Please, Thor.”

“Yes, you can,” he assured me. “You can come as many times as you like, my lady.”

“I want you to come,” I whimpered. “Please, I want you to come too, Thor.”

He kissed me, his breathing turning harsh and excited. “Yes, I know. I want to come for you, sweetheart. I want to come inside you, make you mine, make you cry out for me. I just want to take care of my lady first. And you are so sweet. Like honey. Like warm honey around my cock, so good, gods, you feel so _good_.”

He fucked me faster, harder, the slap of skin on skin punctuated by our mingled gasps and curses. I wrapped my legs around his hips and used the leverage from where he held me down to pump myself onto his cock again and again, tasting the growls that left him as we picked up even more speed.

“Oh, oh, fuck, Thor, _please_ , please come!” I sobbed as I seized up with another climax, but this time, blessedly, I knew he couldn’t hold out any longer. He dug his legs into the bed and fucked me rougher still, coming hard and unrestrained as he felt me chasing my own orgasm as well. Bliss filled me from head to toe. I vanished into the vortex of pleasure, deeply satisfied knowing he’d followed.

I floated back into my mortal form eventually and took stock of the two of us. Thor breathed plumes of fire against my neck, which was already decorated in kiss marks and beard burns. I’d wear them proudly for the rest of the week. I wouldn’t mind the judgment. He’d loosened his grip on my wrists, so I took advantage. I slipped my fingers between his and held his hand. Thor sighed softly and squeezed gently, kissing my cheek before shifting to rest his weight on his forearms. He nuzzled my nose with his and smiled at me. “Are you alright, my lady?”

“I’m stellar.” I kissed him. “So now what?”

Thor rubbed his thumb along the back of my right hand. “Whatever we want.”

“Sounds good to me.”

“Yes,” he whispered. “Sounds good to me too, my lady.”

FIN


End file.
